Oddities
by Inazuma Akai
Summary: A slew of awkward situations unleashed on the unsuspecting Gundam pilots and company. - The theme of each drabble will vary. There is no specified genre for the series so expect anything! Please, R&R.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Gundam Wing_ and I am not earning a profit from this fan fiction. However, any other original characters are my own creation. This is my first drabble series. I just started thinking of awkward situations to unleash on the Gundam pilots and other GW characters. The theme of each drabble will vary. There is no specified genre for the series so expect anything.

"Oddities"

By: Inazuma Akai

Scenario One

"Quatre's Biggest Fan"

"AHHHH!" A piercing scream broke the relative quiet of the Winner estate.

Duo, Heero, and Relena shot up from their respective seats in the living room where they were watching Quatre's huge plasma television that just so happened to occupy an entire wall. The occupants peered across the living room into the kitchen. Heero immediately began to berate himself for letting Relena drag him to Quatre's home in the first place. As soon as Quatre invited Relena, the young politician knew Heero had no choice but to tag along, unwilling to let her go anywhere alone. Duo, of course, had invited himself to which Quatre had no outward objections. Now, the three of them were on edge, wondering why their host had decided to scream at the top of his lungs. It didn't sound urgent. It sounded more like he had been surprised.

"Maybe he saw a spider…" Duo snickered.

"The Winners have an exterminator who stops by twice a week…" Heero supplied.

Duo rolled his eyes, "Figures…" Then he realized something. "How the heck do you know that?"

Heero remained silent, opting to investigate the noise instead. He reached for his gun.

Relena's eyes widened. "No guns in the house, Heero." Restraining a sigh, he folded his arms and sat back down.

Offering an approving smile to her bodyguard, Relena called out to Quatre, "Are you all right in there?"

There was a pause before he answered. "I'm fine. I just had a scare, that's all." He entered the room, worriedly wringing his hands together.

"Well, what happened?" Duo asked impatiently.

"Ummm, well…" Quatre blushed. "Dorothy's been…stalking me…before I would just see her pop up in places like the store or something…but now she's been walking past my house. I just saw her a minute ago on one of the security cameras in the kitchen…"

"That lady needs some serious therapy…" Duo muttered.

"I know a therapist. I have his card in here somewhere." Relena stated, digging around in her purse. All attention turned to her. Heero, in particular, stared at her questioningly. "Relena…"

"Oh, don't you 'Relena' me! They were bound to find out you were seeing one eventually." She replied indignantly.

The ex-Wing Zero pilot stared at her a moment longer before calmly focusing his attention elsewhere. Obviously, he refused to confirm or deny the allegations.

**Author's Note**: I've only written four of these so I will most likely post one a week. If this series goes well, I will try another. Drabbles aren't exactly my favorite genre but I did want to try it out for readers who aren't interested in lengthy storylines. : )

On another note, I'd love feedback...and constructive criticism...hence 'constructive' criticism...not flames, lol.

And here's the 5-star system for your convenience.

Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:

**1** star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!

**2** stars – This story needs a face lift in the worst possible way…

**3** stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.

**4** stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!

**5** stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?

**Thank you all for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Gundam Wing_ and I am not earning a profit from this fan fiction. However, any other original characters are my own creation. This is my first drabble series. I just started thinking of awkward situations to unleash on the Gundam pilots and other GW characters. The theme of each drabble will vary. There is no specified genre for the series so expect anything.

"Oddities"

By: Inazuma Akai

Scenario Two

--

"Mother/Daughter Talk"

The day wasn't a scorcher but the sun was beaming down hot enough that a random pool party had been thrown together in a matter of hours. The adults claimed it was a chance for their children to spend time with their friends and family. But there were obviously ulterior motives, namely those that got them all out of their offices so they could enjoy a nice sunny day.

As usual, the festivities were taking place at the Winner Estate. Only Quatre and Relena owned property adequate enough to keep their guests entertained. But out of the two, only Quatre gave the air that there was a welcome invitation to his mansion. Of course, Relena was always open to entertaining guests. Yet she could never figure out why no one ever really came to visit. (She would later learn that having her husband and self-appointed bodyguard, Heero, around the house was a deterrent for anyone considering accepting an invitation).

Though Dorothy was also lacking in the area of making guests feel comfortable, she at least had training in proper etiquette to fall back on. In other words, she'd fake it if necessary. Quatre liked having people around and she liked seeing Quatre happy (the alternative was actually quite disturbing).

Having decided to take a break from socializing (as she was beginning to feel a migraine coming on) Dorothy sat pool side, her legs dangling over the edge. Her three-year-old daughter, Jasmine, perched on her lap, glaring into the water.

Pulling her gaze away from the people around her, who were acting more like children than the adults they truly were, Dorothy nudged Jasmine's arm to get her attention. Her daughter glanced up, still pouting.

The lone Catalonia had a penchant for inspiring fear in little children. Of course, that fear took the form of respect in her young daughter. But even her daughter wondered about her mother's sanity. At three years old she knew to step lightly.

There was some maternal instinct in her though. And it always niggled at her conscience when the little girl was upset or distraught. After various mishaps, she'd learned to find out what was bothering her daughter before going off on a tirade.

"What's wrong?" Dorothy asked.

"I don' wanna sim no more...."

"That's not the only reason you're sitting here instead of playing with your friends."

Jasmine tensed. "Yes, it is."

"No, it's not. So, either you tell me what's bothering you or I'll ask your daddy. I'm sure he knows."

"Otay, otay!" The little girl fumed in exasperation. Above her, Dorothy smiled victoriously.

"So spill."

"Aiden..."

"Yea...."

"I don' like him..."

"Yes, you do."

"No, I don'."

Dorothy sighed deeply, rubbing her forehead. "I know you don't want to tell him you like him, quite frankly you shouldn't even be having crushes, but that's no reason to be rude. He's still your friend." Aiden was Heero and Relena's son. She doubted the four-year-old boy had any idea that Jasmine's strange behavior had something to do with a crush. His father had been just as clueless at 15 so she expected as much. His father hadn't been the 'sharpest tool in the shed' back then.

The young girl shifted, knowing her mother was right. "I won' be mean no more, but I still not wanna go back..."

"Then you can stay here with me if you want. I just don't want you being mean to Aiden, got it?"

"Yes, ma'am."

Dorothy smirked. "Good. Now where's your water gun? Daddy's about to get a close encounter with a Super Soaker..." Dorothy chuckled evilly, spotting her husband, Quatre, seemingly still dry.

Jasmine grinned and then went to retrieve her water gun.

--

**Author's Note**: So far I've posted two drabbles. Now there are only two remaining.

I decided this drabble would star Dorothy since I sort of ridiculed her in the last entry. Notice the irony of the situation (apparently she finally got him, lol ^^)

As always, I'd love feedback...and constructive criticism...hence 'constructive' criticism...not flames…

And here's the 5-star system for your convenience.

Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:

**1** star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!

**2** stars – This story needs a face lift in the worst possible way…

**3** stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.

**4** stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!

**5** stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?

**Thank you all for reading!**


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Gundam Wing_ and I am not earning a profit from this fan fiction. However, any other original characters are my own creation. This is my first drabble series. I just started thinking of awkward situations to unleash on the Gundam pilots and other GW characters. The theme of each drabble will vary. There is no specified genre for the series so expect anything.

**Warning(s)**: WAFF and/or sappiness.

"Oddities"

By: Inazuma Akai

Scenario Three

--

"The Late Shift"

Hilde groggily opened her eyes. The vid. phone was alerting them of an incoming call. She turned over and buried her head under her pillow. The phone continued to blare. She lifted her head and frowned down at her sleeping husband.

"Get the phone!" She shouted into his ear.

Duo jolted awake, almost falling out of the bed. He glared at her as best he could considering he was seeing double. He'd only had three hours of sleep at the most.

"You get the phone!" He growled and turned over, facing away from her.

Hilde scowled. "You get it!"

Duo flipped onto his side and stared her down. She stared back. The vid. phone continued to ring in the background.

"I was up until 5:00 a.m. in the morning filling out that freakin' damage report from our mission to L4! I refuse to answer the phone right now!" Duo proclaimed.

"In case you've forgotten, I was the one helping you file those reports!"

"Grrrr..."

"Hello?"

The two feuding adults looked up to see that their 15 year old son, Collin, had already answered the dreaded phone call. They had the decency to look ashamed.

"This is ridiculous! Even your son has better manners than you do!" Hilde scolded.

"You mean he has better manners than you!"

"Um, mom… dad?" Collin asked nervously.

"What?" They bellowed.

The teenager shrunk under their gaze.

"Aiden just called. He says Uncle Heero wants all the Preventers, part time and full, to report to HQ at 1300 hours."

Duo glanced at the clock. It read 8:30 a.m. He sighed in relief.

"Good. That's enough time for us to catch up on some of the sleep we missed."

Collin nodded, "I'll be in the garage for a while. I should be back by the time you two wake up." He walked to the door and closed it behind him, gently.

Hilde watched her son leave and turned to her husband, who was slowly drifting back off to sleep. She smirked evilly. Grabbing a fist full of cover, she yanked it roughly off of him and quickly wrapped it around herself. She then pretended to be asleep.

Duo felt unusually cold. He reached for some more cover but found none. He peered out of one eye, muttering. He saw that his wife was conveniently bundled up in the sheets. A frown creased his brow. Hilde could see he was fuming and couldn't help but giggle.

"Hand over the cover, Hil…"

"No!" she said, holding on to it protectively.

"Give it!" he shouted, pulling at it.

"Never!" She jumped out of bed and raced for the door. He growled. In one fluid motion, he leaped over the side of the bed and was blocking her way.

Hilde stepped back cautiously. Before she could escape, Duo tackled her. They fell to the floor in a jumbled heap. She laughed at his indignant expression as he tugged the covers away from her, grumbling something about conspiracies.

"It was just a joke, love. I didn't mean any harm by it."

He raised an eyebrow.

"Hn." Was her only reply. He settled himself down on the floor and was about to go to sleep again.

Hilde eyed him strangely. He was starting to pick up his fellow pilots' habit of monosyllabic responses. She continued to watch him as he started to get comfortable on their bedroom floor.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm tryin' to sleep…"

"On the floor?"

"Yes. Is that a problem?"

"No..."

"Good." He closed his eyes.

Hilde just shrugged. She cuddled next to him and closed her eyes as well. To her surprise, she felt Duo wrap his arms around her and pull her closer.

She smiled, "Well, at least he makes up for his bad attributes…" she thought, chuckling softly.

--

**Author's Note**: And that's three down and one to go! I apologize for the WAFF! : )

As always, I'd love feedback...and constructive criticism...hence 'constructive' criticism...not flames, lol. Since this was my first attempt at drabble writing, I'd like some input to see what I can improve upon.

And here's the 5-star system for your convenience.

Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:

**1** star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!

**2** stars – This story needs a face lift in the worst possible way…

**3** stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.

**4** stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!

**5** stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?

**Thank you all for reading!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Gundam Wing_ and I am not earning a profit from this fan fiction. However, any other original characters are my own creation. This is my first drabble series. I just started thinking of awkward situations to unleash on the Gundam pilots and other GW characters. The theme of each drabble will vary. There is no specified genre for the series so expect anything.

"Oddities"

By: Inazuma Akai

Scenario Four

"Bachelor Years"

"Dinner's ready!" A voice called loudly.

Duo zoomed into the kitchen. He looked about ready to cry when he saw the steaming pot sitting alluringly on the stove. Rubbing his hands to together he approached it. He picked up the lid and took a good long whiff. Then his eyes bulged out and he began to cough. He slammed the lid down, covering the pot.

"Whoaaa! Now that smells like something just crawled in it and died!"

"But I've been cooking for hours! And you're telling me it's road kill?" Quatre exclaimed.

Duo fanned the air, trying desperately to clear it of the foul smell, "Yes, yes it is. I'm mad that's all you could come up with in four hours. I don't see the point in taking turns cooking if you're gonna be this horrible. That time Heero got lazy and snuck in c-rations was better than this."

Quatre's lip quivered. "It's that bad?"

Duo nodded his head emphatically.

By this time, a shadow had silently taken up position in the corridor outside the kitchen, eavesdropping. Then there were two shadows. And finally, there were three.

The shadows didn't like where the conversation was going. They were thankful they didn't have to suffer through the dish Quatre prepared. However, the three unanimously agreed that subterfuge would have been the best way to address the issue. Duo could have just sabotaged dinner and been done with it. Of course opening his big mouth and telling the truth (rudely at that) was his way of dealing with it.

"The fool…" They thought.

"I'm not going in there… And you can't make me." The first shadow announced.

"Someone must be a sacrifice." The second shadow left little room for argument.

"It's not that serious, Yuy. Lie low for a few hours. He'll get over it and probably have something catered. Problem solved. Did you really expect him to learn how to cook? It should be every man for himself anyway."

"Sharing responsibilities builds camaraderie, Chang."

"What? You read that in one of your self-help books?" Wufei remarked snidely.

"Cool it you two." Trowa was not in the mood to argue. He'd been against them sharing an apartment for this mission from the beginning. It was madness!

Their attention was drawn back to the kitchen when they heard the refrigerator door close.

Duo had taken a coke from the fridge. Then walking over to the pantry, he grabbed a bag of chocolate chip cookies.

"I'm gonna watch TV. Call me when dinner's ready. And when I say dinner, I mean something that's edible. Not something you'd use to clean your Gundam's engine." With that said, the Deathscythe pilot popped a cookie in his mouth and left.

Quatre's bright blue eyes filled with tears. The rest of the pilots 'conveniently' vanished after that.

**Author's Note**: And so ends the "Oddities" series… for now. I kind of liked the randomness of the scenes. : )

As always, I'd love feedback...and constructive criticism...hence 'constructive' criticism...not flames, lol. Since this was my first attempt at drabble writing, I'd like some input to see what I can improve upon.

And here's the 5-star system for your convenience.

Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:

**1** star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!

**2** stars – This story needs a face lift in the worst possible way…

**3** stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.

**4** stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!

**5** stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?

**Thank you all for reading!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer**: I do not own _Gundam Wing_ and I am not earning a profit from this fan fiction. However, any other original characters are my own creation. This is my first drabble series. I just started thinking of awkward situations to unleash on the Gundam pilots and other GW characters. The theme of each drabble will vary. There is no specified genre for the series so expect anything.

"Oddities"

By: Inazuma Akai

Scenario Five

"A Kitten for Sally, Part 1"

The scent of coffee wafted through the living room. Wufei could smell its potency as he approached the kitchen. His wife, Sally, brewed a pot every morning. Even though it was their day off, she still seemed to need her cup of coffee. She'd stumble around like a zombie without it.

He entered the kitchen and was greeted with a chipper, "Morning!" It was ironic, because he had already greeted her 20 minutes earlier when she sluggishly brushed her teeth and washed her face in their shared bathroom.

He thought back to their encounter with a smirk. He had risen before her, as usual, and was brushing his teeth over the sink. A mumbled "G'mornin'" sounded behind him. He raised an eyebrow as Sally shuffled into the bathroom. Thankfully, they had two sinks so he wouldn't have to rush. Wufei would have been reluctant to leave anyway because the sight of Sally in the morning was morbidly fascinating to him. He couldn't understand why she was so… disoriented. She slept a full eight hours. Wasn't that enough?

Married life had been an adjustment. It wasn't as if it was new to him. It was that the women he married and the circumstances surrounding both marriages were completely different.

His marriage to his first wife, Meiran, had been challenging, to say the least. One memory, in particular, stood out for him. The elders had tried persuading him and Meiran to share a bedroom. The arrangement resulted in a shouting match and property damage.

The incident effectively dissuaded the elders from ever broaching the subject again. Wufei and Meiran were then able to live in separate rooms on opposites ends of the hallway.

Marriage to Sally was calmer and quieter, of course. But it was the first time he had, had to share close quarters with a woman. She was one of the most logical women he knew, but she still had her moments. Some days he chalked her mood swings up to hormones and went about his merry way.

Recently, hormones were the main culprit for her shifts in mood. For the last four months to be exact. Duo had gotten a kick out of the news that Wufei would be a father. He also felt the need to rub in the fact that Wufei would be suffering the backlash of Sally's pregnancy for nine whole months.

As the first of the pilots to become a father, with a brood of three boys and counting, Duo felt the need to 'induct' the others into fatherhood. He called it 'friendly advice' and 'training.' His fellow pilots called it hazing.

After finishing breakfast, Wufei disappeared into the living room to read. He had so little time to do so in between missions and he was relishing the opportunity. Sally seemed reluctant to interrupt as she was quite aware of the fact that her husband wanted to catch up on his reading. She tried to busy herself with tidying their already immaculate home (Wufei harbored slightly OC tendencies).

After only an hour, Sally became antsy. "I want to go out." she announced.

Without looking up from his book, Wufei asked, "Where to?"

"To the mall!" she told him.

Wufei promptly shut his book. "Of all places, she had to choose the mall." he thought.

Husband and wife faced each other in a stand-off.

Wufei argued that she was four months pregnant and that walking would just tire her out.

Sally pointed out she still worked for the Preventers full-time and that he was making excuses.

The latter won the argument and the couple set off for the mall.

Wufei was abundantly grateful when the excursion only lasted for an hour. (He assumed it had something to do with swollen ankles, but he doubted Sally would admit to it if it did).

While walking back to their car, Sally spotted a pet shop. There was a small litter of kittens in the store's window. Scottish Folds to be exact.

"Ohh, look! Aren't they adorable?" she called to her husband, going up to the window and gushing over the kittens.

Slapping his forehead, Wufei walked over to the window and looked down at the kittens. "They're kittens." he stated matter-of-factly.

"Your point?" she asked, starting to coo at them as they jumped over each other to get to her.

He shook his head, choosing to ignore her comment and headed back towards the car. "Are you coming?"

Putting her hand on her hip, she spun around pinning him with a look. "No... and if it's all right with you, I'd like to buy one..."

"WHAT? NO! I do NOT want one of those filthy little creatures in my home."

Sally raised an eyebrow. "You mean OUR home, right?"

"Yes, our home. But I don't want that," he pointed to a kitten, "In OUR home."

His wife began to sniffle, calling on the most pathetic puppy dog face she could muster. "Please, Wu-chan. I've never had a pet before...please?"

Gathering what strength he could to avoid looking into her face, he turned away, "No. Those things get into whatever they can find, claw away at everything, and I, for one, am NOT going to clean the litter box everyday or put up with the stench that comes from it."

"B-but I'll take care of it. You won't have to lift a finger. Please, please, pleeease?"

He turned to look at her sternly, "Do I have your word that you will feed, bathe and clean up after this cat? And that whatever trouble the cat causes you will take full responsibility for it?"

"Yes, 'father' you have my word." she promised with a slight roll of her eyes.

He took a deep sigh and hung his head. "Fine then… but if our house is destroyed because of it, remember it's your fault."

"Yes, yes." Sally mumbled, grabbing his hand and pulling him inside so she could buy a kitten.

**Author's Note**: I decided to pick up the "Oddities" drabble series again. This entry started out as a one-shot. I divided it into three parts.

As always, I'd love feedback...and constructive criticism...hence 'constructive' criticism...not flames, lol. Since this was my first attempt at drabble writing, I'd like some input to see what I can improve upon.

And here's the 5-star system for your convenience.

Inazuma Akai's 5 Star Rating System for Fanfiction:

**1** star – This fic is unreadable! Get a beta-reader stat!

**2** stars – This story needs a face lift in the worst possible way…

**3** stars – Not bad, but with a little more effort you can make it a really good fic.

**4** stars – There are some minor errors here and there but otherwise it's a very nice fic!

**5** stars – It's an exceptional work of art! More, please?

**Thank you all for reading!**


End file.
